I often wondered what I would do if I saw her again.
She did not contact me for a year and I didn’t reach out to her either. Then that evening happened.
I got out of the shower to a beeping notification light on my phone.
I picked up the phone from the dresser where I had placed it. It was her, Maryam.
My heart skipped a bit.
She was asking to see me at Eden gardens.
I had a long day at work that day and I really just wanted to lay down and rest, watch something, but it was Maryam, even after all that time, I was finding it hard to ignore her.
I did try though. I placed my phone back on the dresser, put on some briefs and got into bed, resuming the last episode of Season 7’s Game of Thrones.
But I couldn’t concentrate. So I went, and I met with her.
It felt really good seeing her and talking with her again. She said that she was sorry, and she asked to be friends. I didn’t mind being friends. I was seeing someone anyway.
In the months that followed, Maryam and I spent a lot of time talking. We met up a few times too and all that brought back feelings I thought I had buried. I found myself smiling a lot at my phone and it was because of her.
She was still as interesting as ever, naughty and very unpredictable. You didn’t know what she was going to say next and I found that to be very intriguing.
I grew fond of her, way too fond of her. Too fond. So I was going to tell her, I was going to end it, it had to stop – the friendship.
I waited for her at the Millennium Park after work. Bad idea I already knew. Too secluded. But It was her favorite place and she insisted we met there.
I found a spot under some trees and waited for her.
She came carrying snacks, drinks and a mat. Legs so long in those blue shorts she had on, with her white blouse clinging too closely to her small waist.
I hadn’t even opened my mouth yet it felt like my mission was already being jeopardized. I certainly did not need all that sexiness she came carrying with her.
“Maryam, we are not having a picnic” I declared.
“Well, hello to you too!” She smiled forgivingly and began setting down the things she brought with her.
The way she bent over made her bum so protruded.. C’mon now!
I looked away.
“Mmn?” I answered, turning back around.
She was now sitting on the mat.
“Sit down” She invited, patting the space next to her. “Have some chocolates” She smiled.
“Okay Maryam, time out! I don’t want to have chocolates and I don’t want to sit down”
She darted her eyes sideways, a small frown creasing her forehead.
“We need to talk.” I announced.
“Okay so talk. Why are you being so direct anyway?” She queried.
I began to pace the ground.
“I can’t stop thinking about you” I blurted out, stopping in my tracks.
Her face relaxed into a broad smile.
“That’s sweet” she remarked.
“No, it’s not sweet, it’s a problem!”
She stood to her feet and strolled up to me. “Well, If it makes you feel any better, I think about you all the time too”
“Maryam you don’t understand.” I complained, loosing strength at that point.
“Then make me” she persuaded.
“I’m at work, and I’m thinking about you. I’m hanging with the guys, I’m thinking about you. I’m fucking her yet I’m still thinking about you.”
Debilitated, I lowered my body to a rock near by.
She came unto me. With a bended knee, she placed it on my lap then wrapped her arms around my neck.
Maryam, she didn’t have the prettiest face but there was something about her that had always drawn me in, and kept me locked..
She still moved me. I knew the feeling was wrong but a part of me just couldn’t let her go.
“I don’t know what to do” I confessed.
“Maybe you could just fuck me, get it out of your system”
And there it was. Like an approval I had been waiting for. Although I knew she wanted me too, there was something about the words she spoke, or maybe it was how she said them, I don’t know.
She lowered her head down to my face and I met her half way, hungrily. I pulled her legs in, so that they were wrapped around my waist.
She must have had some of those chocolates because I could taste them on her tongue.
I ran my hands up her sides, slipping them underneath her blouse.
I made my way to her small breasts and I scooped them with both hands.
She paused, chuckling, “Someone could see us”
“I don’t care” I groaned, pinning my forehead to hers. “We’ve done freakier things in the past”
I got up anyway and snatched the mat off the ground. l took hold of her wrist and we ran off, giggling like teenagers.
We looked for a more hidden place and we found a spot, surrounded by more trees and some very big rocks.
I hurriedly laid out the mat and pulled her into my embrace.
I slid by tongue in between her lips again, letting myself enjoy the warmness of her mouth.
We lowered ourselves down to the mat, then I turned her around.
She bent over for me, assuming a perfect arc
I was so turned on.
I had been turned on from the moment she walked into the park.
I pulled her shorts down to her knees, and my trousers followed. I stroked myself, kneading her bum with my free hand.
It felt so soft, softer than I remembered. She looked at me from underneath her arm, wiggling impatiently.
I spanked her ass, thrice.
Glancing sideways to confirm that no one was coming, I slid into her…
goodness gracious! she felt so moist and warm. It was like stepping into a bath with the perfect temperature.
I pressed my full length into her and her walls welcomed me tightly.
I held still for a moment, taking it all in!
Her warmness spread through my cock and it felt damn good!
I began to drive myself, in and out of her.
Slowly at first, then faster….and harder.
She stretched out her arm to me, something we always did. I took it, then she stretched out the other hand. I crossed both hands at her back. Holding them in place, I rammed in and out of her.
She began to moan my name and that turned me on even harder.
I kept going at it, her ass cheeks bouncing softly against me.
I felt myself enlarging inside of her. I was going to cum. I sprung out and stroked myself, letting my cum sprout all over her ass.
I put my hands akimbo and admired at my art.
She broke away laughing, and I laughed too.
“Babe, tell me you have some tissue with you”
“I do, check the bag” she replied heartily.
I pulled my trousers to my waist and hurried to where we had been before. I collected a tissue from her bag, got back to her and wiped her clean.
She got dressed.
I rolled the mat off the ground and we walked back to our spot.
I laid out the mat and we got on it. My hands behind my head and her leg wrapped around mine with her lips pressed to my neck.
“That was so nice” she said.
I smiled, “You felt amazing babe”.
We lay quietly, listening to the birds chirp and tweet.
The trees swayed, it’s leaves rustling under the dry breeze. We could hear the faint voices of people, walking past in the distance. It was all so serene. I finally understood why she liked the park so much.
“What’s going to happen now, to us?” she asked, almost in a whisper.
I knew this was coming.
“I’ll tell her”
“You’ll tell her we had sex?” her voice was shocked.
“No, of course I won’t tell her we had sex. I just need some time to sort out my feelings”.
Truthfully in that moment I felt confused on which way to go – home to her or there with Maryam.
My girlfriend came over the next evening.
She made dinner – spaghetti with pawns and carrots and greens, I loved that food.
We sat down to eat and I just couldn’t stop looking at her.
I thought about how devoted she had been to me, how strongly she had loved me.
It all came rushing back to me, all the sacrifices she had made. All that time she had spent waiting, patiently for me to reciprocate her love.
I had trust issues after Maryam, our breakup made me an angry guy, I didn’t care about commitment anymore, I just wanted to smack and move yet, she stuck around, showing me love and concern.
She was peace, she was calm, she was certainty, and that was what I really needed in my life.
Maryam had let me down in the past for no good reason, and even though I still had strong feelings for her, even though she rocked my very soul, I didn’t know if she was going to let me down again. And that was a chance I was not willing to take.
“You’ve been staring..” she grinned into my thoughts. “what are you thinking of?”
“How lucky I am to have you?”
Her smile broadened. “We are both lucky. Eat your food”
I made a conscious decision to stay away from Maryam. It wasn’t easy.
Maryam was not the kind of girl you forgot in a hurry.
I missed her.
Four days passed and I had managed to avoid her calls.
The last time I tried to end things with her, I fucked her. I didn’t trust myself in her presence, so I just kept it moving.
I was on my fifth difficult day of not speaking to her when the intercom on my desk rang.
I picked up the receiver to my ear.
“Sir, one Maryam is here to see you” my Secretary’s voice said at the other end.
My heart dropped. She came to my place of work?
I was still holding the receiver to my ear when Maryam barged in, with my secretary closely following her behind, trying to stop her.
“It’s okay Christy” the over powered girl apologized.
“I’m very sorry Sir”
The secretary turned back around and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her.
Maryam made herself comfortable in the black swivel chair facing my desk.
She crossed her long legs meticulously, swinging herself from side to side. I sat looking at her, waiting for what she would say.
“So, you’re ignoring me now?” She asked, maintaining a calm that I found rather disturbing.
“You’re just gonna fuck me and that’s it? I thought we were unto something, you know? headed somewhere”
Why was she so calm? what then was the point of barging in?
“Can you just stop swinging like that?”
“Why? does it bother you?” She mocked.
I heaved a sigh, stood up and walked around to her side of the desk.
I leaned against the brown wood. She was still swinging. I bent forward and held the arm of the chair, stopping it.
She frowned but that was better. I would take that over the confusing calm.
I let the chair go, and held my hands together in my thighs.
“Why have you been ignoring my calls?” she asked.
I nodded regretfully. “…….sometimes you don’t talk to someone because its just so hard”
“But I was hurting because you weren’t talking to me”
“I know, I’m sorry” I said honestly.
“What is it really?” she inquired.
“I love her Maryam.”
She sat up in the chair. “But I want to be with you. I loved you first. I know I messed up but that is not going to happen again”
“Maryam, you walked out on our three year relationship to be with the same guy that you assured me you could never date. How am I supposed to trust you again?”
“I made a mistake, but I can right it. I just need a chance to show you.” she reached out her hands and held my leg. “please let me show you. It will be different this time, I swear”
I felt touched but I didn’t say anything.
“How about the moments we shared” She continued “Was that all an act? Did it even mean anything?”
“It did, you know it did. But because I feel these things doesn’t mean I should keep acting on them. I’m just trying to do the right thing here. Maryam, she picked me up when you left, I was in a really bad place and she helped me out. I really don’t want to let her down”
She swallowed, staring blankly at me, her hands still wrapped around my leg.
A deep sadness spread across her face.
“I’m so sorry” I said honestly. “I didn’t mean to lead you on and whatever, I was very confused myself”
“So that’s it? Can’t you at least give me a month or something?..”
“I’m sorry Maryam, it has to end now”
She stared at me, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
Then, as if coming to terms with my words, she let my leg go and reached for her purse.
She sniffed as she stood to her feet. She turned her back to me and began to make her way towards the door.
“I’m sorry” I called after her, it was really all that I could say.
She stopped and glanced back at me. “Yeah” she said dryly. “me too”
And then she was gone, out the door and away from my life.
She never called again and I didn’t blame her.
I fought every urge to call her, telling myself that it was better this way.
A lot of time has passed since that time but I still think about her, and I often wonder how she is doing.